Funny Meaning on Common Dictionary Words

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later

PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY

OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!

OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, only difference is that he got caught

FATHER:
A banker provided by nature

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes
A Collection